Adobe’s new MOROSE AI [YODAi #2]

Adobe’s Latest Foray into the Abyss of Redundancy

… and we do have Exclusive Secret snapshots of their newest AI utter pointlessness thingy. I mean, can’t even call it a “product”.

Working prototype of Adobe’s new MOROSE Gen AI Audio Discombolulator, courtesy of Still Unamed AI Creative Studio by this author. (No plush toys were harmed while preparing for this photoshoot. For security reasons, do not leave plus toys unattended with a robot near them near a fireplace.

I’ve long had a name for all those rehashed, remixed, reworked products and shows and movies and books that are just More Of The Same but parade around the WebSphere as new. I used to call them “MOSS”, but I just figured out that “MOROSE” is a better acronym.

Slapping that on a post title is a no can’t do, though — nobody will open the text to read what’s in it.

The AI News today —-

Adobe is unravelling some MOROSE AI Marvel

Again. I mean, it’s for music this time.

It’s actually a pre-announcement of a not-yet-baked, semi-imaginary GenAI quasi-product that might, in the future, churn out generative tunes. Right now it sounds bad enough to make me miss AM radio.

I need to post a link to the Adobe, otherwise people will think I’m lying or going post-truth or maybe just copying another Sam Altman memo.

This link is serious. No kidding. And I didn’t rename it. Seriously, everything is “revolutionary” now.

Here’s how generative AI is about to revolutionize audio creation and editing | Adobe Blog

As you can see from the prototypes I’m showing here for the first time ever, Adobe’s concept is to use AI to mimic the behavior of a musical toy driving a music robot with generative AI to statistically get you somewhere in the ballpark vicinity of the semblance of a beat with some strings attached.

A few things catapulted my jaw to the floor in utter bafflement after listening/watching those 2’21" of (cough cough) “music” on the link above, devoid of meaning and utility and totally lacking any resemblance of musicality.

1. Where’s the bass? The PUNCH??? Gosh. It sounds as warm as a dead mouse on a cold winter alley.
2. How many times can a person get “excited” while presenting anything at all?
3. Why can’t we just get along with the overall idea that it is FUN to create new things?

We don’t really need AI for *everything*! Really, Adobe, just get Project Deadfly to work and create an AI that will nail those pesky selections in Photoshop.

Now, I talked at length to Mr. Rabbit. He was the dynamo head behind Duracell ads & marketing division back in the days when open TV was still a thing. He is now Chief Operating Rabbit & Advisory Plush Toy Division Manager for Rehashed Products Fanfare at Adobe.

He told me that it’s all very secret for now, but he did send me an image of the Drummer Module prototype. You know, for loops, because it’s so hard to find drum loops on the web.

And so it goes.

They haven’t quite figured out how the Attention Mechanism will work. There’s no AI workout an attention mechanism. (Seriously. I can only make up a certain amount of weirdness!!)

They are also having team issues: apparently a toy rabbit got into an AI catfight with a toy robot while training a Generative Adversarial Networking. Don’t worry, no toys were harmed.

Intrigued by “the system’s revolutionary music generation capabilities”, as Adobe marketing so impressively states, I had one final question: wouldn’t it be easier to clone Apple’s Garage Band, maybe just change the interface a bit and stamp “ADOBE” over this new, revolutionary produc?

He did his best not to show it, but I immediately regretted being so naif. Top Industry Tijuana Brass like Mr. Rabbit, they Just Do It. He replied with Boggart-like irony:

Kiddo, I don’t think you get it: our product has AI. Apple is way too dependent on human creativity.

He got me there.